I fell off the wagon. It was slow at first, a bite here, a chip there. I'll have just a bit of rice. Some corn chips won't hurt me. But it gradually snowballed until yesterday for my nephew's tenth month birthday, I had two servings of noodles, two slices of cake and ice cream. I was consciously cheating. It wasn't mindless. It wasn't me alone in a dark room surrounded by high carb foods and the voices in my head telling me to eat, eat eat. I was with my family, socializing and destroying the healthy eating I had done for months before.
October was really bad for me. It was my birthday and we went on a trip. It was a one-week cheat that turned into a whole month of conscious cheating. I don't know why I did it. I am not sure. Maybe I thought five months of being good deserved a treat, a reward. But my reward should be that my jeans are sliding off and my tummy is flat. I was noticeably irritable, too and always napping. The signs were there but I ignored them.
It stops today. Today is another day and I will take it one day at a time. It won't be easy to wean myself off of the carbs I consumed yesterday but I will try. For accountability, I would take pictures of everything I eat. This way I can keep a visual food diary and review my day. This way it won't be conscious cheating that I forget after a few minutes. I would have proof that I can keep going back to.
Wish me luck. Again.