The Slippery Slope

Happy December everyone! It's the first day of the last month of the year. Three months from now will mark the one year anniversary of my decision to go low carb. I am ashamed to admit that I have not been good at all. October was a complete disaster and November was full of conscious off plan eating. I indulged myself a lot and no matter how hard I tried to go back on plan I couldn't because the cravings would set in and that will be that.

So today I am going to try to go back in ketosis. I haven't been feeling well and I blamed it all to the sleepless nights but in reality my day to day health has gone back to before LC when I would be tired most of the day, be a little fuzzy and distracted. Not to mention short tempered and depressed.

It would be typical to start anew in the New Year but I don't want to see pictures of me this Christmas looking and feeling exactly like last Christmas. Earlier this year I wanted to change and I was successful for the most part. I'm gonna make December the month where I go back on track.

It's never too late.

Accountability

I fell off the wagon. It was slow at first, a bite here, a chip there. I'll have just a bit of rice. Some corn chips won't hurt me. But it gradually snowballed until yesterday for my nephew's tenth month birthday, I had two servings of noodles, two slices of cake and ice cream. I was consciously cheating. It wasn't mindless. It wasn't me alone in a dark room surrounded by high carb foods and the voices in my head telling me to eat, eat eat. I was with my family, socializing and destroying the healthy eating I had done for months before.

October was really bad for me. It was my birthday and we went on a trip. It was a one-week cheat that turned into a whole month of conscious cheating. I don't know why I did it. I am not sure. Maybe I thought five months of being good deserved a treat, a reward. But my reward should be that my jeans are sliding off and my tummy is flat. I was noticeably irritable, too and always napping. The signs were there but I ignored them.

It stops today. Today is another day and I will take it one day at a time. It won't be easy to wean myself off of the carbs I consumed yesterday but I will try. For accountability, I would take pictures of everything I eat. This way I can keep a visual food diary and review my day. This way it won't be conscious cheating that I forget after a few minutes. I would have proof that I can keep going back to.

Wish me luck. Again.

Back To Low Carb Reality

So my week of debauchery is over and it's time to get back on the low carb wagon and stay there, hopefully enjoying the ride and scenery. I really had a great time during my vacation but the fact that I am deathly afraid of my scale tells me I overdid it. It wasn't like the trip to Singapore, no. Since food was cheap and in abundance, I went a tad overboard with the sweets and dessert and frozen yogurt at Red Mango.

The first day back on plan was difficult. In fact, I wasn't 100% on plan. I had some oatmeal cookies that my hubby bought. I know. I am so bad! But I couldn't resist it. So I had one. Then two. Then three. It turned out to be six by the end of the day. I deserve a spanking, I know this.

Day two was much better since I started adding flax back to my diet again. I love flax and flax muffins and it keeps me "regular" but darn it... I don't like the "by product", neither does my husband. I don't blame him. Flax "by products" are the worst I've ever experienced in my life. Seriously. It could win national competitions and probably power a stove. But I will still do it because it really helps with my digestion... Maybe once my body is used to it again the "by product" will decrease and won't be as offensive. I also felt terribly bloaty and had tummy issues but that's just my body getting used to low carb.

It is now Day Three and I'm 100% back on the saddle, my friends! Can I get a woohoo? A what-what? Perhaps a small but well-deserved 'yay'? Pretty please? I'm just kidding. Day Three wasn't as difficult, of course. I take it one day at a time and it really does get better.

In other news, I finally received the package from my LCF buddy Melissa of "Less Of Mimi". More than a month ago I asked her if she could buy and ship golden flax seeds and stevia powder for me. She was so kind and generous that she went to buy it that same day and ship it, too! When the package finally arrived, the envelop was torn in places and taped in some. Sheesh! Our postal service is really crappy! But thank goodness the flax seeds and stevia made it here in their packaging. So double yay for me. Thanks again Melissa! You are such a sweetie... sugar free, of course, but a sweetie nonetheless!

32 Rib Eye Steaks

The best birthday gift ever. Today was my birthday and the fifth day of eating off-plan but to prove that I do wanna go back on eating LC the moment we get back home let me tell you about 32 beautiful, marbled, juicy rib eye steaks.

We got them today at Melbourne Prime. They're frozen and will be shipped back to Roxas City tomorrow and will probably get there by the time our flight lands on Sunday. I am ecstatic! This steak is so delicious and definitely my favorite.

So thanks to my darling hubby for giving me this birthday gift!

Low Carb Pinay in Manila

So my birthday week celebration started with a flight to Manila. It was DH's birthday and we spent the day doing things he liked. Had a Mexican dinner and ate yogurt at Red Mango. Totally an off-plan vacation but still bought Pepsi Max just because it's so yummy.

Day Two just began and we had Taco Bell (I'm not impressed though) but DH is pretty happy. It's his taste of home, I guess. We began the visa process today and keeping our fingers crossed. who knows by this time next year I would be Low Carb Pinay in the US. Wish us luck!

I'm No Longer Obese!

When I started this journey my wake up call was an all-time high of 155 lbs on my digital scale. It flashed repeatedly and in my head I could hear the alarm sounds probably the same warning sounds they made when bombs started dropping. My BMI was 30.3. I was devastated but I had it coming.

It wasn't like I woke up one day and found myself 35 pounds heavier than I was mere months before. I knew it when my clothes were getting tighter, when I had to buy new jeans TWICE because the pair I got just a month ago wouldn't even go past my hips let alone button up. It was a scary spiral down the rabbit hole. I tried to make myself not care, consoled myself with thoughts that I was still pretty and it's my beauty inside that counts. I'm not saying that those things didn't matter, it's just that telling myself that is different from actually believing it.

I wish I could say that what triggered my desire to lose weight was a health issue but that would be a big fat (pun intended) lie. I'm vain. I admit it. It doesn't make me less of a person. I like looking good and feeling good. Being thin is not directly proportional to being happy, I know that but looking and feeling good is. So yes, I'm trying to lose weight so I can look good. Not for anyone else but for myself.

I have lost 17 lbs so far and with a BMI of 26.9 am no longer obese but overweight. Saying I'm overweight is not really pleasing to the ears but realizing how far I've come and how I've stuck to working towards my goal of having a normal BMI makes me really really happy. My journey is far from over, this is true, but at least I am going forward and trudging on. With hope. With faith. And with trust in myself that I will get there.